[Fanfic] Thread of Destiny

[carmenw84]

Title: Thread of Destiny
Author: Me (Carmen)
Length: One-shot
Genre: Angst (lots)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own only the plot.~
Pairings: Ohmiya
Summary: Nino wants Ohno back (?) * Sorry, I suck at writing summaries. T__T




“Don’t leave me…” I say out loud to him. But I’m alone. Why can’t I say my feelings out loud when I need them at the most important times. He’s gone, and I’m left here on the floor crying while my heart has a huge gaping hole that can never be healed.

5 years later

                I’m about to leave for work when the house phone rang. No one calls my house phone except for one person. I check the caller ID, and I was right. I sigh and pick up the phone. “Aiba- chan, why do you always call my house phone? I have a cellphone you know, and I’m not always going to be at home.” I say with an annoyed tone. “Sorry, Nino. But you’re always home if you’re not at work. And I’m used to dialing your house number. Stop being such a brat.” He says. “Okay, so what?” I ask. “What, what?” he replies. I sigh. “You called me remember?” “Oh yeah!  You sidetracked me Nino. But there’s something really important I have to tell you. Can you meet me after work at the usual bar?” Aiba asks. Taken aback by his serious tone; that he doesn’t use much at all, I just say okay and hang up the phone.

                At work, nothing was too different except that I had a few troublesome customers; but other than that, it was normal and an okay day. Ahh, I’m tired. I want to go home. I looked at the clock and it was 7pm. Finally, it’s time to go home. I walk to the station and was about to go on the train I always take when I go home but then I suddenly remembered that Aiba has called for me to come meet him. I sigh. Should I just ditch him and go home? He’s annoying sometimes but he did sound pretty serious on the phone. I guess I’ll go. I walk to the right side and board on the other train.

                It was just a little half past 8 when I arrived and the bar was surprisingly busy. I searched for Aiba’s brown hair through the sea of people and found him at a corner table. I walk over while bumping with a few people along the way. “Why did you have to sit at such a far corner? It’s hard to get over here from the door.” “Cause we have to talk about something important, Nino.” I raise my eyebrows in confusion but don’t say anything. He took that as a sign to continue. “Well. I’m not sure if I should tell you, but it was on my conscience and I just felt like I HAD to tell you.” He was saying while fidgeting and looking down. “What is it? Spit it out already Masaki.” “Ano, Ohno Satoshi is back.” He says while looking nervous and probably contemplating whether it was the right choice or not to tell me. As soon as he mentioned his name, I felt my heart stop at the the painful memories left behind. “What?” I managed to squeak out. “Um, my friend Sakurai Sho was talking to him on the phone when I came to get him and I overheard their conversation. Nino he’s back.” I automatically think; to run to him and hug him and tell him how much I’ve missed him and that I could never live without him again but I know that, that would be a bad decision. So I bury the pain inside to not let Aiba get worried again. “Ahh, I see.” I say trying to be nonchalant. I probably never fooled him since he has known me for 15 years but he never questioned me any further. “Nino, want to drink with me?” he asks in an apologetic tone. “Um, no. I think I’m going to go home and rest.” “Okay… but call me if you need anything okay?” he says. I mumble a reply and get up to leave.

                 As soon as I step outside, I noticed it has gotten colder or maybe it was just me so I wrap my arms around myself. As for the reason, I wasn’t sure if it was because I’m cold or to stop myself from breaking apart again. From the bar to my house was a pretty long distance to walk but I didn’t feel like being on a train with lots of people so I decide to walk. I take the longer way to avoid people but little did I know that I would bump into him. Since I was walking with my head down I didn’t notice that it was him. I look up and gasp. He looks exactly the same as I’ve seen him five years ago. His look was a little hazy but as he clicked in, he knew exactly who I was. His expression was a little pained but it only lasted a second so I wasn’t sure if I imagined it or not. “Nino, long time no see. How are you?” he asks. I stare at him contemplating what to say. Should I talk with him normally? Should I run away? Should I ignore him? Should I tell him that I can’t still forget him? What should I say? I wasn’t sure how long I was thinking and staring at him but I snapped out of my thoughts when he cleared his throat.

                “Mhm, long time no see. I’m doing good and you?” I say very quietly. I knew he could hear me since both of us could still read each other very well. “Say, want to go have a drink or something?” I look at him surprised but otherwise agree. “Can we go to your house actually?” My expression must have changed to that of pain since he quickly took my hand and squeezed it a little. “Um, okay.” I say with a very confused and pained tone. We walk the rest of the way to my house in silence. What does he want to talk about? That one question kept going around and round in my head the whole way. When we reach my house, I take out my keys and unlock the door. I point him to the direction of my table in the dining room but he started moving before I could. He still knows the way around my house.

                I give him a cup of tea and sit down across from him. We both look at each other hoping for the other one to start. But I knew I wasn’t going to budge since I had no idea what to say without making myself seem like I can’t live without him. He knew my determined expression so he broke the silence first. “Nino… I really did love you.” He says with a pained expression. My heart was rejoicing at the words. I nod to let him know to continue. “But did you ever love me?” I look at him surprised. “What? Of course I did. I still do Satoshi.” I say and reaching for his hand across the table. I intertwine our fingers together and look at the way it still fits perfectly. “You never said that to me before.” His voice breaks on the last word. “I thought you knew Satoshi.” I say. He sighs. “Kazu, I’ll never know if you never said it the whole time we were together and you never asked me for help; which I would of gladly gave but you never leaned on me ever.” “But we can start over Satoshi. I promise I’ll be better.” I say. But my thoughts shift to what he said earlier. ‘Did love you’ it was in the past tense. I look at the way he pulls his hand out of mine and I feel my heart break once again. “Kazu, I’m sorry.” I look at his sympathetic expression and I can feel my heart slowly turning into stone. “What?” I manage to breathe out. “I don’t feel anything for you anymore.” I could feel my whole soul and heart and body rip inside of me at those words. “I’m sorry Kazu, but our thread has broken. I really hope you can find love in someone else and forget me.” He gets up slowly and turns around to walk to the door. I look at his back painfully and think back to the day we broke up five years ago.

“Kazu, let’s break up.” “What?” I look at him like he has grown three heads. “I’m serious, I just don’t feel this relationship is going anywhere anymore.” He says with pain evident in his eyes. “No wait, think about your decision Satoshi. I can’t live without you.” I say frantically. “Kazu, I did think about my decision; I’ve been thinking about it for a long time now.” I think back to the past couple of days and only now realize that he has been distancing himself from me. “Wait, why?” “Kazu, you don’t love me.” He says. “What? No I do, I really do!” I say desperately. “You’ve never said it Kazu. You only think you do since we’ve been together for so long.” I open my mouth to say those three words but my voice wouldn’t come out. I love you. “I love you Kazu, but it’s painful for me since it’s one-sided. If our destiny is meant to be, we will be together again.” He turns around to leave and I’m left staring at his back with tears in my eyes. “Don’t leave me…” I say out loud to him. But I’m alone. Why can’t I say my feelings out loud when I need them at the most important times. He’s gone, and I’m left here on the floor crying while my heart has a huge gaping hole that can never be healed.

“No wait!” I say while running over to him and putting my hand on his arm. He has his hand on the door about to turn the knob. He looks in my direction and I could see that he actually has no affection left in his eyes. “I’m sorry! I really am! I was scared to voice out my feelings in case they would betray me. Satoshi, I love you. Don’t leave me again.” I say desperately. He smiles but there was no feeling. “I’m glad you can say that now Kazu. But it’s too late.”  I take my hand off his arm and let him go. I hear the door click in front of me and I drop down to my knees. “Don’t leave me.” I say out loud again. I look at the table then at the door and realize that this has happened exactly the same as five years ago. I curl up into myself. I have just lost the most important person in my life and he’s never coming back. Ohno Satoshi is never coming back into my life. I can feel my heart breaking completely and I know that it will never be healed again.