Say You Love Me Again
Mar. 31st, 2012 12:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Author: Me (Carmen)
Length: One-shot (1,589)
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own only the plot.~
Pairings: Ohmiya
Summary: Nino's not ready to give up.
** Sorry! I know I said I would post a fluffy fic as my next one, but the angst is calling to me. T_T ~
**Don't worry! I'm still working on the fluffy one though! It's halfway done. ^^ (I'm also working on another fluffy one.)
** I don't really think I wrote this fic that well. I'm not really happy with it, but I hope you guys enjoy it at least a little. (:
“Why don’t you go see him?” Aiba pokes me in the side. I yelp and glare at him. “I will, eventually.” “He’s been back for almost 3 days now! You keep saying the same thing!” He slightly raises his voice. “Don’t yell, it’s giving me a headache.” I say while putting my arm over my head. “Why don’t you go see him?” he says in a whisper; almost like he didn’t want me to hear. But I heard, and I felt I needed to tell my best friend the truth. “I’m scared.” I say. I can feel him shift on the coach to look over at me. I take my arm off my head and look at him. “Aiba, he’s been gone for 2 years and I know we promised each other we would call everyday and keep in touch and that we would always be together. But he stopped contacting me and answering my calls after a year. I’m scared that he’ll say the words I never want to hear.” He sighs and moves closer to give me a hug. “That’s why you need to see him, get some answers Nino.”
I should have never listened to Aiba. I’m standing in front of his house and pacing in front of the door way; not quite sure if I should knock or just leave. I gather up the little courage I have and walk up the steps and knock on the door. When I heard footsteps, I release a huge breath; not even realizing that I was holding it in. The door opens and I gasp. It was the same Satoshi that I had fallen in love with. But even though he looked the same, he felt so different. He looked surprised to see me. “Nino..? What are you doing here?” My heart seemed to break a little hearing my last name come from his mouth. Why isn’t he calling me Kazu? “Uh... hi.” I say trying to keep a normal tone. “Satoshi, who’s at the door?” I look to the voice and see a good looking man. “Just an old friend of mine, Sho.” He says with a smile. I felt my heart break. Satoshi fell in love with someone else. “Nino, would you like to come in?” he says. “I… uh, sorry… I got to… go.” I say while trying to hold my tears in and turned around. I could hear him calling after me, but I just ran. I wanted to get as far away as possible.
I’m stupid for still believing that we had a chance of still being together. I knew I shouldn’t have gone. It only confirmed my fear. It started to rain as I was walking back to my house. I didn’t care that I was getting soaked and was probably going to get a fever but I felt comfortable out in the cold rain. It made me feel numb. Just as I turned the corner to my house, I spotted him there huddled in the corner. My heartbeat sped up. What is he doing here? I walked over slowly and he looked up. He had a hurt expression on his face but it quickly went away as it came; leaving me wondering if I had imagined it. “Nino—” He started to say something but I cut him off. “Come in and talk, you’re getting soaked.” Even though my mind was telling me not to invite him in, I couldn’t stand seeing him getting rained on and feeling cold. We walked through the door and I guided him to the kitchen. He sat down and I made a cup of tea for the both of us. I laid down his cup and I sat down across from him. I looked at him while sipping my tea. The questions were burning inside of me but I didn’t want to break the silence. He also looked at me, and I could see he wasn’t going to say anything. I sighed. “Why did you stop answering my calls?” I say; my voice breaking at the end of the sentence. He gave me an impassive tone, “I was busy.” I felt hurt at the statement but otherwise pressed on. “That guy… Sho, do you love him?” I say not really wanting to know the answer. He hesitated before he said anything. “Yes.” I felt my heart shatter into tiny little pieces. I knew the answer before he already said it, but I was still taken aback. I didn’t want to give him up, I didn’t want to forget the memories, I didn’t want to stop loving him. So I ended up doing something selfish; I kissed him.
I grabbed him and smashed our mouths together, I was surprised that he responded to me but as fast as he did, he broke it off. “Nino… I—I’m—” I cut him off, “Satoshi, I’m not giving up. I’ll keep loving you and I’ll make you fall in love with me again.” I say with all the determination I had. He looked surprised. “I still—I’m leaving.” He got up and I heard the door click behind him before I broke down and started crying. Satoshi, don’t leave me.
I went to Satoshi’s house the next day trying to be as cheery as I could act. But when I got there, Satoshi and Sho were both walking out of the apartment. My heart clenched at the sight of them holding hands and I opted on turning around but my determination was too strong. I walked up to them and took Satoshi’s wrist. “Nino! What are you doing?” He struggled to get his hand out of mine but I held on tight. “I’m taking him for the day.” Before Sho had a chance to say anything, I quickly pulled Satoshi away. He was still trying to get my grip off his wrist. “Stop moving or I’m going to kiss you.” Half of me wanted him to continue moving while the other half didn’t; knowing it would hurt me more. He stopped moving and I felt hurt either way. He doesn’t want to kiss me. We walked a bit further and I reached the park where Satoshi and I had spent most of our days. I remembered that he always liked to draw here while I sat down next to him and watched. It might be a simple memory but I treasured it.
“Why are we here Nino?” I noticed the venom in his voice and I felt hurt. “I’m making you remember our memories.” “It’s not going to change anything.” I give him a sad expression but I didn’t want him to know I was hurt, so I quickly hid it with a fake smile. “It will.” He looked pained; but again it came so fast that it left me wondering if it was actually there.
I repeated the same process over and over again; bringing him to the places that had been filled with our memories, and before I knew it; it had already been a month. I thought there would be a change, but it did nothing. Every time, I would only get more hurt and heartbroken. I decided that I couldn’t go on anymore.
I brought him again to the park; “Nino—” I cut him off. “Don’t. Let me say something instead.” He nodded and I continued. “When you first stopped answering my calls, I thought you were busy. But after a while, I knew you were avoiding me. I couldn’t understand why. I was thinking that you didn’t feel the same way anymore, but yet; I still held on; thinking that it was just my imagination. I thought we were still together. But when I went to your house, my heart broke knowing you had found love in someone else. I know what I did was selfish; taking you away from him and trying to make you fall in love with me again. But I know that it won’t work. You love him. I want you to be happy, so I’m giving up.” I say trying desperately not to let him know how much I was breaking inside. “Nino, I—” He said while touching my arm. I look at his hand touching my arm and I pull away. I smile. “Bye, Satoshi.” I turn around just as I felt the first tear drop fall. You did good, Kazunari. You said everything without showing him how much you’re actually breaking on the inside. I quickly walk away while the tears started falling uncontrollably. When I got home, I curled into myself on the bed, crying myself to sleep.
The next day, when I woke up, I felt horrible. My eyes were puffy and I felt like all the energy I had was sucked out of me. I got out of bed and went into the room I kept all of the stuff from Satoshi. I looked at the boxes of boxes piled on top of each other and my heart clenched. “Time to forget.” I say to myself; painfully. I grab the first box and it was full of photo albums. I take the first one out and flip through it looking at the precious times we spent together. I couldn’t help that I was crying again and tears were dropping all over the album. “Satoshi, how do I forget you when you were my life?” It was then, that I decided I would never fall in love, and trust anyone ever again.
** I wrote an extended ending in case you didn't like this one. The extended ver. is a happier ending, lol.
** I didn't post it with this, because I thought it sucked. But I'm going to keep it anyways. If you want to read it, click here.